Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Scriptures for the Autism Mom {#autismawarenessmonth #FCBlogger}

**Thanks to Family Christian for sponsoring today's post. All opinions are 100% my own.

In October 2009, our world was forever changed with a few simple words: "Your child has autism."

In the moment it was a tearful time...full of fear and uncertainty about the future. Throughout the last 5 1/2 years, it has been a roller coaster of emotions. We have seen successes, we have seen setbacks. We have cried and we have celebrated. We have been filled with worry and we have been filled with hope. Throughout it all, I have learned a lot (and still have a lot to learn too!)... and one of the biggest things I've learned is that we all need a little bit of support and encouragement along this journey. So today, I wanted to share a few Bible verses that I have personally found helpful. My hope is that no matter where you are on the journey- newly diagnosed or a veteran autism parent- you can find hope in these words as I have.

For The Newly Diagnosed.



As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.- John 9:1-3


If you're reading this and are new to the diagnosis, perhaps you are in a stage of wondering what you did wrong. With still no solid known cause of autism, it is perhaps only natural to wonder. And as moms, blaming ourselves comes all too easily. 'Maybe if I'd just done something differently...' While this type of thinking may come naturally, it also leads to nothing good. This particular verse served as a great reminder to me that no matter the cause, this was part of God's plan and truly wasn't about anything I could have done differently.


For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.- Jeremiah 29:11


When you learn that your child has been diagnosed with autism, it is not uncommon to think of the future with doubts and questions. Will he be able to live on his own? Have a career? Get married and start his own family? We see the hopes and plans that we once held for our children drifting away into uncertainty. First and foremost, I want to reassure you from one mom to another that autism is not a death sentence. With hard work and dedication our little ones can accomplish great things. Still, those original dreams may have to change. This verse has served as a great reminder for me that God has a plan for each and every one of us, and His plans are greater than anything we could have imagined.

On Being 'Different, Not Less'.


But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”- Romans 9:20

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. -Psalm 139: 13-14

These verses are great reminders not only for us as parents, but for our children as well. God has made each and every one of us exactly how he intended us to be. Our talents, our shortcomings, our quirks... they are what make us uniquely us. How amazing to have a God who creates such amazing, unique creatures as us. These verses serve as a great reminder as a mother that God has made our child special and wonderful!

My son has not yet reached that point where he has realized he is 'different', but when that time comes I will remind him of these messages and remind him that he- like his typically developing peers- is fearfully and wonderfully made.




For The Struggles.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6


 Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. -1 Peter 5:7

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. -Proverbs 3:5 

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”- Matthew 11:28-30


When it comes to raising a child with autism, the struggles are seemingly inevitable. We will deal with meltdowns. We will deal with judgement from those around us- strangers and loved ones alike- who don't know what it's like. For many of us, we will deal with regressions, moments of agression and even self-injury. We will worry about our children's futures. We will worry about IEPs and school placements. We will worry about our children making friends or being bullied. Raising a child with autism can truly be both physically and mentally draining.

But time and time again the Bible tells us that we are not alone in our struggles. Perhaps one of our personal biggest struggles occured when my son was 3 years old. My husband had left for a year long deployment and Shaun and I were left alone in California, across the country from our families. I had not yet established a support system, nor did I have friends yet in the area...I was basically alone. Not dealing well with change, Shaun reverted to bouts of strong aggression, poop smearing and horrible up-every-hour-screaming-bloody-murder sleep troubles. Needless to say, I turned to God often during these struggles...and He provided the comfort I needed. He also provided an amazing group of fellow autism moms, teachers and therapists for whom I am forever grateful.

This would not be the last of our struggles, but it did teach me that with God on our side, we would make it through.

For Times of Joy.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. - Romans 12:12


This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. -Psalm 118:24

I did not want to write this post without including a few verses for the GOOD times, because as I mentioned earlier... autism is not a death sentence. Perhaps you are not there yet. Perhaps you're in the midst of a low point and it's hard to see the positive, but I promise you they are there. Dwelling on the struggles can leave us feeling defeated, so try to focus on the good. Celebrate every milestone, every accomplishment...no matter how seemingly small at the time. Sometimes I do find myself thinking about the negatives that come along with autism...but then I look back on where he was when we started this journey and how far he has come. I look at all his fun little quirks that make him unique and lovable. I think of how amazing this sweet little boy truly is... there is certainly much to celebrate!

On Loving Your Child.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. -1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The Bible gives such a great guideline for how we are supposed to love, doesn't it? Having a child with autism has taught me a lot about love as well- most importantly, how to love unconditionally. 1 Corinthians 13 gives a great reminder on how to demonstrate that love. We must be patient and kind. This can be tough. When you're telling your 7.5 year old for the millionth time that he must poop in the potty or not to jump on (or off of) furniture, your patience wears thin, and we may find ourselves feeling irritated. I love turning to this classic verse for help. The most important part of this particular selection though is the last verse: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Even when it is not easy, don't give up. Love your child, encourage them... be their biggest fan and they can do amazing things.


For Your Support Team.


Every time I think of you...I thank God.- 1 Corinthians 1:4, The Message

As I mentioned earlier, I was lucky enough to establish a fantastic support network during our time in California. There is nothing that can make this journey with autism a little easier than a great support team. Therapists, teachers and even parents who have been where you are. A support system doesn't have to be local... we have long since moved and yet I still treasure the friendships I have with all of these ladies. I could also not be more thankful for the impact they have had on their lives. Where would my son be without the help of amazing therapists who worked with him so patiently, who loved him as their own.


Being an autism parent can be tough, but it is also very rewarding. Remember, no matter how hard things get, you are not alone! 
I hope that if you have stumbled upon this post in search of comfort, you have found what you are looking for.

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3 Comments:

  1. you've opened my eyes to some of the struggles that moms go through with children of special needs. Especially like the verses you shared to help a struggling mom--claiming promises of Scripture are a great tool for any of us that feel overwhelmed!

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  2. Thank you for sharing these verses - encouraging to all parents, but especially to those with special needs kids.

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  3. Thank you for sharing this post. These scriptures can be inspiring and comforting for anyone going through a difficult time with their kids because of some time of illness, disease, developmental delay, allergies, asthma, etc.

    ReplyDelete

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