The Fear of Being Unfriended {A Book Review + Dayspring Deal}

**I received these products as part of Dayspring's (in)courage launch team. Post contains affiliate links. All thoughts are 100% my own.

"My new friends don't like you. So we aren't friends anymore."

That was the phone call I got from my then best friend just a few weeks into the 5th Grade. I mean, can you imagine? Before that moment we talked on the phone nearly daily. At school, we were inseperable- always together at recess, lunchtime, even sitting together when we could. We bonded over our mutual love of Winnie the Pooh and platform shoes (this was the 90s after all). I truly thought we were actually going to be best friends forever. But with a simple little phone call, I was unfriended, and my view on friendships was forever changed. I found myself unable to open up and trust people. I found even more than ever I had that constant fear in the back of my head that people wouldn't like me. I found myself in fear of starting new friendships that I might be unfriended once again.

Let's be honest, these days it's even easier to be unfriended. You don't have to pick up the phone. You don't have to sit down for a talk. You don't have to have any type of conversation at all. It's as simple as the click of a button. And just like that--- unfriended. Ouch.

I think many of us have probably had these moments in friendships as well. Maybe you didn't actually get that same phone call that I received, but we've had falling outs with good friends. We've had our trust betrayed. We've had our hearts broken. And for many of us, we carry those scars with us throughout our adult lives too.

Making friends as adult is already harder as it is (especially for us stay at home moms). We're not in an environment where we are in the same place with the same people every single day. We don't generally have as many clubs and groups where we are met with people with the same interests. Our schedules are made much busier with work, kids and adult responsibilities. This alone makes it hard enough to make and keep friends. Add in our distrust and fear? It's a recipe for disaster!

Is it any wonder so many readers- myself included- are already finding themselves among the pages in the new book by (in)courage community manager Lisa Jo Baker- Unfriended:

In a world where women can unfriend each other with the swipe of a finger, how do we find friendships that we can trust to last? Maybe by first becoming those kinds of lasting friends ourselves.

As the community manager at the website incourage.me since 2010, Lisa-Jo Baker has had the chance to engage hundreds of conversations with women about friendship. She’s learned that no one can make us quite as unsure about ourselves as another woman. And nothing can wound as deeply as unkind words from a friend. While we are all hungry for friendship, it’s the fear of feeling awkward and being rejected, left out, or hurt (again) that often keep us from connecting.

But what if we knew we could never be unfriended? Would we risk friendship then? 

Starting with that guarantee from the most faithful friend who ever lived—Jesus—this book is a step-by-step guide to friendships you can trust. It answers the questions that lurk under the surface of every friendship—What are we afraid of? What can’t we change? What can we change? And where do we start?—with personal stories and practical tips to help you make the friends, and be the friend, that lasts.

This isn't a book that is ever so sappy and reminds us that we will never be truly alone because we have a friend in Jesus. We all know that song, right? We know that we're not ever truly alone, but that doesn't mean our earthly friendships are not important. Even Jesus had friends during his time here.

Instead this book is an open and honest look at our friendships. The good, the bad, the ugly. The moments that have left us feeling unfriended and broken. It makes us truly think about those fears we have. Have you ever read one of those books that just feels as though it was written just for you. This book is one of those books. And it's not just me, many other bloggers have expressed the same! What a great reminder that we are not alone in our loneliness or in our friendship fears. This book truly will help us to change and work on the way we view friendships together.

To help us with those friendships, Dayspring has also released new (in)courage products to go with the book. Perhaps my favorite is the Conversation Starter Jar.

For me, one of the hardest parts of making new friends is actually starting that conversation. Blame it on my social anxiety or again on that fear of rejection, but I'm happier to sit in silence than to be the first to start talking. What do I say? How do I keep the conversation going? These answers are foreign to me. This set helps. Inside are questions to get us talking! They pick the topics, so we don't have to. Sure beats, 'how about this weather we're having, right?' These questions will help us get to know each other better and get our friendships off on the right foot.

The conversation jar and book are available to purchase now from Dayspring.

And from today through April 9th, you can grab the book at a special introductory price of $11.99! That's 30% off! Plus, you can grab the book and the conversation starter jar with free shipping when using code FREESHIP.