With
the life expectancy in the United States at 78 years of age, sadly, eulogies are something many
of us will need to perform in our lifetimes.
However,
you don't have to be a professional writer or storyteller to compose and
present a compelling eulogy. The best forms of these funeral service tributes
come from the heart, have a little humor, and show the respect and love the
deceased had in life.
And
even if you're a private or shy person, there are ways to prepare yourself for
standing up and delivering the eulogy with respect and reverence. Remember, a
good eulogy is a service to others. It is a way to help others successfully
navigate the grieving process.
In
the following article, we'll discuss ways to share stories at the funeral
service and pay your respects to your loved one.
Share Some Stories
A
eulogy works best if you share your personal stories about the deceased but if
you include how others remember them. Ask a few of your close friends to meet
with you to discuss your loved one.
Not
only will you all find some solace together, but you'll have some people to
help you brainstorm stories and themes for your eulogy.
Don't
feel awkward about asking people to do this. Friends and family will be glad to
help you with the important part you'll play in the funeral service.
When
you meet, try to take a few notes in a notebook or on your phone to help you
remember what you spoke about.
Choose a Theme
Now
that you've collected the stories, it's time to start to shape them up. Try to isolate a way to
convey a unified message about the person you are writing about.
This
is usually done by deciding on a theme for your speech. It could be "love
of family" or "the importance of faith." Other good ones include
"living life to the fullest" or "community giving."
Then
compare the stories you've collected to your chosen theme and decide which ones
fit. These will be the ones you'll incorporate into your draft.
Pre-Write With an Outline
An
outline is a great way to set up a roadmap for your writing.
In
general, start with a greeting. Try to thank the immediate family and anyone
who traveled a great distance to be there.
Then
consult your theme and start with the body of your eulogy.
Compose
some general remarks about the person and their character. Were they kind?
Loving? Or did they do something remarkable for their community or family?
Next
in your outline, mark a spot for a humorous story. You may want to add more
than one but be careful. It's easy to overpack your writing.
Also,
make sure your humorous story is appropriate for everyone in the audience and
doesn't embarrass anyone. You want to focus on fun memories, not unfortunate
mishaps.
Return
to your theme and make your point about how the deceased impacted your life or
the lives of others. Don't worry about how long it takes.
Then,
commensurate with the people in the audience about how the loved one will be
missed and remembered. This may be a good time to tell one final story.
Lastly,
thank everyone for coming and say a final word of goodbye for the deceased.
Write and Edit
Remember,
you can deviate from your outline, but if you've spent a good amount of time
developing it, try to write to it as closely as you can.
Try to mix short declarative sentences
with longer descriptive ones to vary your writing.
When
you're done, take a break. Let the words sit on the page for a short while
before you start to edit them.
When
you do start to edit, don't be afraid to cut the eulogy down. This will make
your writing easier to present and for the audience to appreciate. Also, ask yourself if you stuck to your theme
throughout?
Practice and Present Your Eulogy
After
you've written a draft and edited your eulogy into a final version, read it
aloud and present it to a friend or family member. In all likelihood, you are
all going through an emotional time, so try to take any constructive criticism
positively.
A
eulogy is a formal way to remember the deceased and to say your final
farewells. Try to enjoy the moment — the writing and the presentation — no
matter how nervous you are.
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"Pleasant words are as a honeycomb: sweet to the soul and health to the bones." Proverbs 16:24