How to Navigate Divorce to Improve Your Co-Parenting Skills

 

Divorce is hard on children, but it is not the end of the world. If you two can manage to be great co-parents who can happily exist in the same room and give your children the love and attention they deserve, you can be better apart than you ever were together. You do need professional guidance, however, so build up your support network with this guide:

 

Always Go Through a Family Lawyer to Handle Your Divorce

 

Divorce and family law often bring out the absolute worst in people. To get the best outcome for yourself and your children, you cannot go into the proceedings angry. It is, in fact, far better to do the entire process with the guide of a family lawyer. Many family law cases can be confusing and difficult to understand. There are rules on how far away you can move from your ex-spouse. There are rules for joint custody. There can feel like miles of stipulations when it comes to splitting your assets. The entire process will not be neat or clean, and you will only do a disservice to yourself and your family to not start your divorce with a lawyer.

 

Get Couple’s Counselling

 

The assumption that couple’s counseling is for those who want to save their marriage is false. You don’t have to want to stay together to benefit from this counseling. Acknowledging that it is over between you two can help old wounds finally heal.

What this counseling will do after you have started the divorce proceedings is help you put aside the bad blood and, most importantly, prepare you two for a future of co-parenting. You need to be a unified front, and you both need to step up. Never make your child feel like they are collateral, and more importantly, be on the same page when it comes to parenting. Children and teens do well with structure and rules, but if the rules vary from one house to another, resentment can build.

 

Get Personal Therapy

 

Not every divorce is going to be amicable. Even in cases where it was mutually agreed on, emotions can run hot and become complicated. Personal therapy can help you process how you feel, understand why, and most importantly, can help you learn healthy coping mechanisms and tools to help you process negative emotions. This is how you can become a better person after a hard divorce and how you will be a better parent.

 

Move Out, But Stay Close

 

The separation period will be a really good time to help you two get your co-parenting styles down. First, rent a place nearby for one parent who won’t be the primary residence for the kids, and then work on ways to share in parenting responsibilities in a way that feels natural to you. Building new routines is also a good idea, as it will help your children adjust and realize they aren’t losing anything and are gaining two happier parents.